June 30, 2004 at 3:21 AM

Am now listening to Perry Como's rendition of "Juke Box Baby", which was apparently a huge hit in the 1950s. Half of the lyrics in it are incomprehensible fifties lingo ("cocoa mo"? - "keep the corn box hopping"? - "you're the wingingest dingingest swingingest doll in town"? - what exactly do those things all mean?), but the music has a certain jazzy swing about it...it's fun.

A few weeks ago, I went to our local Books and Music store and ordered two CDs - one a lovely Oistrakh sampler and the second one some Prokofiev. While waiting in line to special-order them (because, of course, being classical recordings, they were not in stock), I saw a brochure for a music search that vows to comb the world for various out-of-print recordings...I picked one up. "I want to see if they could get us a Ginette Neveau CD, since this store couldn't," I grumbled to Mother, making a point to emphasize the "since this store couldn't" part. Nobody heard, though...nobody ever does...

Maybe it was a little arrogant - well, I guess it was a little arrogant - but honestly. As a classical listener, I always feel discriminated against. I never see pop lovers ordering CDs; their favorite music is always on the shelves, always in stock, always there. It's just not fair.

You have no idea how fulfilling it would be for me to hear a pop lover go through the whole grind. First of all, the disappointment of not seeing the recording on the shelf...then the embarrassment of having to ask the clerk...the clerk brightly inquiring "how do you spell Justin Timberlake?"...(this is straying from the topic at hand, but I once had a clerk ask me how to spell concerto)...then the agony being handed the slip that announces "your CD will be here from one to two weeks"...then the disappointment of receiving that polite red postcard in the mail three weeks later that says "Unfortunately, this music title is not currently available from any of our sources, so we have had to cancel your order"..."perhaps you'd like to try a music search service to search for 'Justin Timberpool'" (because postcards like this always mispell the composers' names)..."you can check back in six months"..."we might have it in stock then"...yeah, right...yadda yadda yadda, blah blah blah...

Just once, I would like to see a scene like that. Just once. Not often - just once. A revenge of the Orch Dork, if you will.

While I'm fantasizing, it would also be nice if they had huge cardboard figures of Heifetz and Kreisler in the record store, instead of pop stars.

But maybe that's asking too much.

Anyway, we stepped up to the counter and placed an order for the Oistrakh and the Prokofiev CDs. I thought little of the matter until Mother handed me today's mail - two red postcards.

The first one for the Oistrakh CD read, "Unfortunately, this music title is not currently available from any of our sources, so we have had to cancel your order. Please try again in a few months. Thanks for your order!"

The second one for the Prokofiev said, "The music title you ordered is currently out of stock at our distributor. You may want to reorder in three to six months if you are still interested. Thanks for your order!"

I was about to crumple it up in disgust when my eye caught the title of the disc - "Proofiev Violin Sonatas." What did I tell you about their misspelling composers' names? The Proofiev sonatas!!! Can you imagine...? I had a good laugh over that one.

There's only one thing left to say: thank heavens for amazon.com!!! Geez Louise...

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June 30, 2004 at 3:21 AM

Laurie's Books

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